Why the child does not want to go to music school? Rarely, one of the parents is able to avoid such problems. A young talent, at first so trustingly devoted herself to music, turns into a stubborn person who finds any reason to skip an activity, or, oh, horror, to completely stop.
The following algorithm of actions will help to solve the problem:
I. Listen to the child
It is important to maintain a relationship of trust. A calm conversation in a friendly atmosphere (and not at the last moment when your child is hysterical or crying) will allow you to understand each other better. Remember that in front of you is a personality, with its own characteristics and preferences, and you also have to reckon with them. Sometimes it is only important for a little person to know that they will hear and sympathize with him.
Ii. Check with the teacher
Only after a personal conversation with the culprit of the conflict, talk to the teacher. The main thing is alone. Designate a problem, an experienced teacher will share his vision of the situation, suggest solutions. Over the years of study, teachers have time to learn many reasons why a child does not want to go to a music school.
Unfortunately, sometimes a child leaves school because of the same teachers who, feeling the disinterest and indifference of their parents, simply begin to tinker at the lessons. Hence the rule: come to school more often, communicate with teachers in all subjects more often (there are few of them, just two main ones - specialty and solfeggio), congratulate them on holidays, and at the same time ask about classroom matters.
Iii. Find a compromise
There are situations where the word of the parents should be indisputable. But in most cases, when making a final decision, it is important to observe the distinction between the interests of the injured party and parental authority. From the student require brilliant marks in a regular school and in music, and besides that there are more circles? Reduce the load - do not demand the impossible.
It should be remembered that there are no ready-made recipes, all situations are individual. If the problem still remains, most likely its cause is deeper. The origins may be in relationships with relatives, a teenage crisis or bad inclinations, which also have a place to be.
What is the reason ???
Relationship in the family?
It is sometimes hard for parents to admit that wanting to raise a small genius from a child, they take little account of his interests and even abilities. If the authority of the elders is high, it is possible that the child will temporarily be able to convince him that the piano is better than a soccer ball.
There are sad examples when young people managed to hate this activity so much that the diploma already received remained on the shelf and the tool was covered with dust.
Negative traits of character ...
It is primarily about laziness and the inability to bring the job started to the end. And if parents observe a similar propensity, then this is the case when one should be firm. Diligence and responsibility are the features that make it possible to achieve success not only in music, but also in life.
How to overcome domestic laziness? Each family has its own methods. I remember the book of a famous pianist, in it he talks about his son, who suffered from pathological laziness, flatly refused to work on the instrument.
The father, not in an effort to suppress the will of the child, not in an effort to make a pianist out of him at all costs, but in a simple care for the skills of his child, came up with a way out. He simply made a contract with him and began to pay for the hours (the sums are small, but for the child - and they are significant) spent on the instrument at home.
As a result of such a motivation (and it may be different - not necessarily just monetary), a year later the son won a major international competition, followed by several other music competitions. And now this boy, who had once rejected music entirely, became a famous professor and concert (!) World-famous pianist.
Maybe age features?
In the period after 12 years, the absence of a crisis is rather a deviation from the norm. The teenager expands his space, checks relationships, requires greater independence. On the one hand, without realizing it, he wants to prove to you that he has the right to make his own decisions, and on the other, he just needs support and mutual understanding.
The conversation should be friendly. Together to see photos of the first reporting concerts, to remember joyful moments, good luck, dreams ... Having awakened these memories, let the teenager feel that you still believe in him. The right words will help inspire the stubborn. Make a concession where it is possible, but be firm in the fact that the work begun must be completed.
Wrong mode: if a child just gets tired ...
The cause of quarrels can be fatigue. The correct mode of the day, moderate exercise, early bedtime - all this teaches organization, allowing you to save time and energy. Responsibility for creating and maintaining regime moments rests primarily with adults.
And yet, what secret do parents need to know in order not to look for an answer to the painful question, why doesn’t a son or daughter want to go to a music school? The main thing is to teach the child to get true joy from his work! And the support and love of loved ones will help to overcome any crises.
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